6months

I always knew the moment I stepped into the hospital I wouldn’t be leaving without the tiny human I’d been growing for the last 9 months.

Trying to relax was incredibly difficult due to family wanting to visit. The days I spent in hospital I honestly didn’t know whether I was coming or going. Everybody was here to welcome this tiny boy into the world, yet I felt like a spare part.

We were finally able to come home after two nights in hospital, I always imagined it to be different to how it was. I’d planned to walk out with my head held high holding onto my man whilst he carried are boy. Instead I was in pain and wanted to cry.

If I’m honest I was happy to arrive home, lock the door and process in my head the last 72hours.

Seth was a dream baby and still is, he’d have his last bottle at 11pm and then have one at 3am followed by another at 8am where we’d get up. The first night was terrifying we slept with the light on and I watched over him like a hawk!

The following two weeks are a blur, my house was more busier than Piccadilly tube station, in out in out. My favourite day was when my dad visited, dad had came to the hospital the day after Seth was born but my emotions were to high and I had an absolute break down so he left (which was appreciated, he didn’t just run off). My dad walked in with glassy eyes, looked at me and just burst into tears. He bent down to touch Seth who was fast asleep in his bouncer and asked what many of the guests didn’t “are you ok?” I just cried and he hugged me so tight, it was defiantly needed.

On the 17th of February 6 days after Seth was born I decided enough was enough and I needed to get some fresh air. I loaded Seth into the pram and bluntly said to Liam “we’re going out!”

I imagine he was over the moon as the furthest he’d been in a few days was the butchers!

We took Seth for a walk down the river, slow and steady wins the race! It was amazing being out, incredibly painful yet so rewarding. We walked and walked until I felt like my legs were going to fall off. Seth had fallen asleep on our walk and continued to sleep for another 3 hours once we’d got home, which gave us some time to relax!

We’d always decided we wanted to get some nice pictures of Seth when he was first born. We booked him in for his first photo shoot age 14 days!

When Seth was just 4 weeks old he had his first Glynn family party to go too. He actually slept mostly though it, wouldn’t let me and him have a nice picture together and obviously didn’t give us a lay in the next morning. This was the first time we’d got to properly show him off . We put him in a shirt and jeans and enjoyed the night together.

Seth was born at the worst time possible, it was a winter we would never ever forget, it was cold and miserable! We had more snow than I’d ever seen before! He looked more like a little caterpillar every time we had to take him out!

I’d had more time with Seth as Liam had gone back to work after his maternity leave, which was fine. I felt confident I had everything under control. What I didn’t have under control was myself. If I’m honest I didn’t feel how I expected too, I painted a perfect smile on my face but deep down I didn’t want to go anywhere or see anyone. I didn’t want to share Seth with anybody except myself and Liam. I didn’t feel like we’d bonded with Seth, but everybody else had.

It wasn’t until myself and Seth went to visit my niece Melodie and my great niece Nancy i realised how sad I was feeling. I had a great day, so did Seth, he loves Nancy! He’s always been so fascinated by her, but the more I sat watching the two babies the less I was interested in being anywhere else except my own comfort zone which was my home. I never once throughout this day thought “I don’t want to be here” but I did feel very anxious . Me and Melodie got the bus back to town and I got off at my stop and walked home.

When Liam got home he asked if I’d had a nice day, all I could think of was of course I’d had a lovely day… but I’m not feeling myself. So I just told him “I’m feeling sad” and cried ( I’m not an emotional person, being a mum has turned me more into a bla baby than what my own baby is!)

I sat on the sofa and explained to Liam, that I love Seth so so much, but I’m struggling to enjoy my new life, because I’d only had too look after myself and Liam before, I didn’t think it was possible for me to look after this tiny human. Liam thankfully came clean and admitted the same. He hadn’t felt like he’d bonded with Seth and In all honesty it didn’t even feel like he’d became a dad. We held each other and was quiet for a few moments. It was then we decided to never bottle anything up again. This is our boy, he was wanted before he was growing inside me and it was our time to shine now as parents. We also decided unless we need to, or WE wanted time the two of us, Seth wouldn’t be staying out with anybody because we wanted to spend every second we could with him, and that’s how it’s stuck. We never wanted to feel over ruled as parents again. If Liam wants an hour alone, I’ll have Seth, if I want an hour (or 50…) liam will have Seth. We didn’t have a child for someone else to look after him.

Our lives dramatically changed, from that moment we became one again, we became parents. Luckily we did as Seth started to come down with a cold. Now I can honestly say a cold for an adult makes you feel a bit rubbish but for a 5 week old baby it was bloody horrendous! I woke up about 3am and Seth was struggling to breath due to being blocked up. I rang 111 who informed me there wasn’t a baby doctor at out of hours so I’d have to take him to A&E. When we got there we were greeted by a nurse who told us “he looks ok…” of course he looked ok! He was upright now in his car seat to help him breath and was asleep! She asked us if we’d like a further examination from a doctor. We agreed to wait for this.

The doctor came in, asked me to take Seth’s clothes off, seconds lately he then asked me to put his clothes back on him and told me to give him calpol..What?!? For a start he was too young. I asked if everything was ok? He just smiled said yes and walked away. He basically accused me of being a paranoid mother and pied us off. Luckily Liam didn’t go into work the next day as Seth was getting worse. I popped into town to get him some baby vics and to have half an hour as I was exhausted. Seth slowly got better after about 6days but the cold had made him so tired so he slept alot for a few days after. I also never gave him Calpol, I’m a big believer of not giving Calpol unless I feel it’s needed. I feel a child will become immune to something like this if it’s used willy nilly. He was also way to young to have his body filled with chemicals, the best cure was a cuddle.

Liam was fantastic our chat had really helped and he really supported me and Seth!

Mine and Liam’s birthdays are only four days apart so Seth was only a month an a half old when we got to celebrate. Liam’s birthday is first so me and Seth took him to Frankie and Bennies for a meal and then he decided to chill out for the rest of the day and then go to his parents for our traditional take away night that we do each birthday.

In between our birthdays we had my cousins birthday, he’d put on a few bands at our local Workers Club. We were slightly worried about taking Seth because of the noise, but he did really well and the noise didn’t bother him .

My birthday was slightly different as Liam had to work so my mum and her partner took me to Hunstanton, our local beach. The sea air hit Seth and he slept most of the day, but it was an enjoyable day.

Seth carried on making us laugh as he started to get his own cheeky personality!

On the 9th April Seth had his first jabs which I was dreading, luckily Liam had taken the day off so he could come along. Liam held Seth as the nurse injected his legs, it was honestly horrible, but after about 10 seconds Seth was fine. We went for breakfast after and headed home. We’d been advised that he could get a temperature and anything over 38 we would have to ring 111 because it could result in seizures. Seths temperature hit 37.8 which was really worrying so we stripped him off and gave him calpol to bring his temperature down. As cruel as it sounds I woke up at 3am, put my hand into the cot and Seth was cold. It was a massive relief as I knew he wasn’t still super hot. He was a little grizzerly for a few days after but a cuddle helped.

Mine and Seth’s relationship grew daily, I finally felt like I was doing a good job and I woke up most mornings with a positive attitude “you can do this girl” I’d tell myself!

Me and Liam decided it was time for me and him to go out and spend some quality time together so we arranged to go for a night out with some of Liam’s family. We had a really good time and considering I hadn’t drank for over a year I did pretty well, despite towards the end when I started to slut drop and fall over… We decided to leave, when we were walking home it suddenly hit us we wouldn’t be going home to Seth, so we decided to walk to my mums instead as that’s where he was. Mum had a full house that night so we could only stay on the sofa. Liam started to fall asleep but I decided because I’d seen Seth and knew he was ok, I wanted to go home. So I woke liam up and we walked home. The sun was coming up and I felt like a teenager again walking home listening to the birds. When we woke up in the morning I felt horrendous so liam got on his bike and picked up Seth (obviously he left the bike at my mums and pushed Seth home). It was a great feeling having our boy back!

We hadn’t really seen people very much after the first 3weeks as at first it was so overwhelming. Once we felt ready we started to visit family and friends. I also started to see my dad and Melodie my niece each Tuesday, we went for dinner and a walk around town. Seth loves Nancy and they always have such a good time together so it was always nice to get out and have adult talk and know the babies could interact with each other. It was important to us that Seth spend time with the people closest to him.

On the 5th May me and Liam took Seth for a day out at Hunstanton. Liam decided to book the sea life centre for Seth, I was unsure at the time to whether he’d actually enjoy it, or just sleep the whole way through. But Seth loved it!! He watched all the fish as they swam by! Unfortunately I didn’t get many pictures of the three of us as I had an abscess and looked like a hamster… We went for lunch and had a coffee on the sea front it was one of them days when we got home we were all exhausted, but we knew we’d had a great time!

By this point I could see Seth and Liam’s relationship blossoming, Liam had really stepped up and became the father he’d always wanted to be. Seth would constantly smile every time when liam would arrive home from work.

Liam had been looking forward to taking Seth swimming from when we found out we were pregnant. Once he’d had his second lot of jabs we took him. He loved it! I’d heard horror stories of when my parents took me for the first time and I just screamed so I was slightly worried, but Seth took to it like a duck to water! He was splashing and having a great time. We decided to take him every week from there, which we near enough have!

We had booked a short break away too Yarmouth whilst I was pregnant with Liam’s family and the time had come for Seth to go on his first holiday. Liam prioritised some family time for the three of us which was needed as he’d been working so much. It was lovely, we took Seth swimming, for a walk around an old castle and had plenty of family time. We decided not to go into Yarmouth when everybody went as we wanted to just go with the flow and do everything spontaneously. Me and Liam are very similar, so when we’re on holiday we’d rather not have plans but just do it there and then. We made the most out of the evening entertainment whilst Seth slept all the way through it. Liam decided one afternoon he was going to rent go carts with his brothers so me and Seth went back to the caravan. This was the first time I’d got Seth in bed with me for a nap. It was perfect. Every time I opened my eyes I’d see his big bright blue eyes staring back at me, until he fell asleep. We were so warm and snuggled up. It was perfect.

Seth continued to shine and meet every mile stone. Although I don’t agree with monitoring the ‘mile stones’ every baby is different. Whilst liam was at work me and Seth continued to have little days out together, and we carried on enjoying each other’s company.

Father’s Day came round quickly. I wanted Liam to feel special and know that we appreciate everything he does for us. Me and Seth walked into town (I walked, Seth was on my front) and brought lots of Father’s Day balloons whilst Liam was out fishing. It was all well and good getting these balloons but now I had to hide them. We woke up at normal time 7am, and I rushed down to make a cup of coffee for us and dotted the balloons around the house. I knew sooner or later liam would get out of bed for the toilet so I put one at the bottom of the stairs so he saw it on the way out of the bedroom. I quickly got Seth changed into his Father’s Day vest and carried him back through to the bedroom along with Liam’s presents. Liam was overwhelmed by his gifts seth had brought him and he loved the vest. I told him we were going to go out for a meal which he was happy about. Finally he got up opened the door and said “what’s that!?” Once he’d seen the first balloon he went down stairs and saw the rest. I could hear the excitement in his voice exactly how I’d wanted.

The word cup started, I’d always told Liam every World Cup until Seth gets to 18 I will buy him the kit and we will keep them, just incase he goes on to have children of his own and then they can be passed down. I couldn’t believe that a babies kit was only £10 less than the adults! Seth loved his kit though, and it was the perfect weather to wear it as it had been super hot!

We took Seth to every event we attended. We wasn’t going to be one of the parents to ship our child off for the night when we could enjoy it with him. He went to festivals, birthday party’s, wedding receptions, and days out at the pub with his grandad and dad. One day he won’t want to come to these events with us, we won’t be ‘cool’ enough so therefore we’ll make the most of it now.

Everyday I can notice different things about Seth, he started to chuckle, he started to roll over and he started to be mischievous. I love watching him change and grow, even if parenting gets harder daily. Seth started to nap less, which we wasn’t used to and I became more of an entertainer than a mother. Once Seth hit the five an a half mark we decided to start weening him onto vegetables, something I was very excited about, but also knew nothing about! We tried Seth on a pouch of puréed peas to begin with. He hated it, gagged at every mouthful. I really did feel like I’d failed. After day three he still wouldn’t eat anything so I decided to ditch the pouches, I only brought them at first as I thought it might help me get used to feeding him in the first week. But I went on to make my own with fresh fruit and veg! SUCCESS! Seth started to enjoy the different flavours, his favourites are carrots and sweet potato. After a few weeks we started to introduce porridge for breakfast which he also took straight too.

Liam had another week of work due, as his factory closes for a week once a year, so we made the most out of the beautiful weather. Again we took Seth to the beach, we went swimming this time (not in the sea) and had a lovely walk along the sea front. We also went for a day out at Sandringham. Whilst there we walked around the queens gardens and even had a tour around the house. Followed by a walk around the woods! It was a beautiful hot day!

I can honestly the last 6months has been the biggest rollercoaster I’ve ever been on. My emotions have ripped me apart and now my love for such a tiny human makes me emotional… You really can’t win when your a parent.

I have became protective, and I have fallen out with some people along the way. I’m protective, WE are protective because Seth is our son. People parent differently, we parent the way we do because it suits us. Liam likes to know where me and Seth are and vice versa. We’ve never had a baby, if we need help we will ask. Although when you have a baby who now sleeps 12hours a night, would rather play on the floor with his toys and eats everything, help is not needed. Sometimes I’ve felt my roll as a mother has tried to be taken away from me. Seth has taught me one amazing thing in life. I am STRONG I don’t depend on anybody. If I needed to get to China tomorrow, I’d get there. Liam tells me regularly to “speak up” and to “not be afraid of what anybody else thinks”. This is now something I do. Not because I’m horrible but because I became a person I didn’t know 6months ago. I lost all my confidence and my voice. Slowly I have every ounce of that back, and I couldn’t be happier.

In 6months Seth has learn to roll over, he actually rolls multiple times now to reach his toys, he enjoys his food, he can sit up, smile and laugh and most of all he makes a house a home.

I’ll leave you with a few of my favourite pictures from the last 6months.

Thanks for reading x